Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
