Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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