I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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