as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
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matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
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I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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