The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
