I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
