She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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