Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
