if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
