And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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