what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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