i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
