i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
