So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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