That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
