I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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