New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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