are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
