Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I look excited, but its just a facade.
A bitchslap is in order.
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