and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize