uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
