maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
