All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
