Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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