as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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