He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
