I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We need to rekindle our bromance
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
