That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
