it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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