your thong is hanging out like whoa
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
