Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.