Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
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At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day