Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.