My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.