So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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