she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
