No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
