I looked at my own cervix.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You did what with his pubic hair?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
