I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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