where am i from again
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize