My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
wow bdsm is so cute
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
