Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
