No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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