omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
