It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
