well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize