i don't like sucking hair
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
