yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
