hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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