I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
