oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
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