My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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