There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
