I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
