I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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