I feel like abortions should bother me more
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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