do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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