Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
