A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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