Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
