Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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