3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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