No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
