Sponge bath it is.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
