i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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