I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
