I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You were trust falling into bushes
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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