I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
