then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
