I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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